It’s not often that I will admit to being proud of myself without equivocation or explanation as to what I would do better. When I receive a compliment; thank you is very rarely in my vocabulary as a response. I usually say something self deprecating instead. In athletics, academia, cooking explorations and professional life – I don’t see growth or progress – I see: what can I do better next time. And that is always the way things have been. Over the years; I have been searching with vigor for that perfect moment when everything in life appears to be – just as I want it. When the stars align and my body tells me, this is the one you’ve been waiting for. But lets be honest, life is a constant shit show – a collection of moments that have an air of imperfection. Things don’t often go as you imagine and even the best laid plans crumble in the face of adversity.
However, last Monday, while running the Boston Marathon in pouring rain and sweeping winds, the universe collected itself and handed me one of the most beautiful moments I have ever experienced. Now, this moment was not as I had theorized it in my mind. As a runner, you imagine the finish line a thousand times. What will it look like, how will you feel, what song will be playing? There are so many variables. My training for Boston had been, less than perfect. I started late and I hit a ton of road blocks. So in my mind, this day would be messy no matter what. Add the coldest temperatures in 30 years on marathon Monday, 26-40mph winds, torrential downpours and lack of planning for said weather and you know – things start getting a little fucking hairy. I didn’t prepare mentally or physically for this particular shit show and so naturally, I was very nervous going into the race. BUT – I focused on what I could control which was my mindset and seeing as though this was my last stroll down Boylston, I wanted it to be a good one. I wanted to experience sheer happiness. And you know what, I totally and completely did.
I don’t want to get into a whole recap of the day – I just wanted to put out into the universe that I am immensely grateful for what I consider the most perfect moment. A moment to be really proud of. Despite being under the weather the weekend prior and being drastically under dressed for the conditions – I had a wonderful day. A day that consisted of texts and well wishes all morning long, seeing Allison’s bright smile at mile 14 (which I carried with me, no joke, for the rest of the race), hi-fiving the crowds of Boston for 26 miles, taking food from everyone who offered oranges and thanking them joyfully and last but certainly not least, kissing both of my children and my husband at the finish line while welling up in tears. Myself, along with some remarkably fast friends of mine, all had the pleasure of running this iconic race.
It’s hard for me, to say that I am truly proud of something. Especially when I raised money for charity and 95% of Boston qualifies. But on this particular occasion, I am happy to report that my positive mind set rewarded me handsomely. Not only was I beaming with happiness for 26.2 miles but I felt accomplished the second I hit that finish line.
While I won’t be running anymore marathons for medical reasons, I have four AMAZING marathons behind me. Amazing because they all have a air of adventure to them. It’s not fun unless there’s a story and for sure, every medal hanging from my rack – has just that. While I may at times have incredible dreams; I for sure, never find anything impossible. So now it’s on to the next thing. Swimming, biking and hopefully some really strong running.
Until next time,