Very suddenly and out of no where that required any sort of planning, Josh and I decided that we wanted to move. CORRECTION: Josh decided he wanted to move. That’s right, I just said that out loud for the whole internet to hear. I completely understand where he’s coming from. Our house is lovely but it’s situated on Route 302, next to a Jehovah Witness church (which means frequent visits, lots of traffic and lots of people for our dog to constantly bark at) and my “dining room” (which is snuggly located in my kitchen) can only seat 6 max and not really that comfortably either. After a series of failed attempts to host Holidays and parties, I think he finally just decided one day, enough is enough. And I get it because I struggle with these things too. I am an absolute lover of elaborate dinner parties but I can’t seem to have them in my house. I dream and I mean dream of a 120″ dining room table, topped with planted herbs where I spread out my guests and feed them beautifully roasted chicken. Can’t you just imagine the clinking of silverware, stemware and laughter? I can. However, there is a paradox to that which is recently, I have really started to make our house, our home. We have lived there for over four years and the progression of our home has been slow but finally, it is coming together. I’m starting to have the adult furniture I want. Family photos are framed and hung artistically on the wall. I have beautiful photographs of my children in Italy displayed above my wine bar. Our bedroom, actually has adult bed linens. They are even Belgian linen. (It’s not as fancy as it sounds, trust me) And I love that while not everything matches, it feels right. Stacks of books. Candles that smell like driftwood. Bowls of fruit on the counter. Bees. Chickens. My garden.
What I have tried to explain to Josh is that truly, I just started reconciling the fact that I now, permanently reside in Maine. That has been a bit of a hard pill to swallow. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here but I’m not from here. I’m never going to be from here. I think I have definitely assimilated to the culture but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, I get very very home sick. But then Josh will ask me what exactly am I home sick for? It’s tough to explain. While I no longer have many friends left in Massachusetts, as many of them have moved on to various locations, the ones I do have I really love. And yes, my family is small, but my mother is a large part of my life and I enjoy my time with her. I wish she was closer so I could hear her outrageousness more often. Really though, it’s the little things: Marylou’s coffee and it’s skanky barrage of women who work there, runs on the Charles that end with glorious people watching, taking lunch into Harvard Yard and just sitting, feeling the intelligence and reveling in it, the Coop, my favorite bookstore in the whole world, which I could get lost in for endless amounts of time and of course, the shopping, there is nothing like Boston shopping. So the fact that I have just settled in to a place and now I have to re-locate, even though it’s not far, just kills me slightly in the emotional sense. (Ok, maybe that’s a tad dramatic)
With every new venture, comes a new opportunity. That’s what I keep trying to tell myself.
I will say this: I don’t think we will be moving any time soon. Our standards are maybe just a little too high. If I am going to throw my hands in the air and pack my shit and move, it better be for a damn good kitchen. So far, it seems as though those do not exist. What is it with people and their nasty wood cabinets? With terrible hardware and white appliances???? I mean, these are nice, houses, and then you open up the picture of the kitchen and it’s as if someone shoved a hot poker in my butt. I just can’t handle it. Also, do people not own furniture? Where is all your stuff? Why do you own drapery from the 1980’s and why is that said drapery matching your comforter? Did you have that custom made? You should have it un-custom made. I don’t have endless money, we are limited in what we can buy but I try to make the better choices when I can. Wood is out. White is in. And under no circumstances should you ever place a blue toilet in your house! Where does one even purchase something of that caliber!!??!! We have looked at what feels like countless homes on the internet and about half a dozen homes in real life. I have hated them all except for one. Which we put an offer on and then never heard a single thing back. Jerks. It wasn’t an insulting offer, it was a realistic offer. They too, had a gross kitchen but the house was cheap enough that we could rip it out and start over.
Anyways, we are certainly learning a lot about ourselves and each other during this process. If it wasn’t for our able bodied real estate agent, we most likely would have killed each other by now. Apparently, we have dramatically different taste in…well…everything to do with a home. More specifically, décor choices. But as far as I am concerned, that’s for the woman to figure out.
Today we look at two houses in Portland, they look promising. Keeping my fingers crossed.
On other fronts, I finally got around to purchasing a new desk for our office which is classic with a dash of contemporary. Only problem: they shipped it with all the drawers locked and no key. But, I’m hoping that it will inspire the writing to pour out of me for my new project. I feel like environment is key when crafting a story. I intend to create a positive space in which to begin my venture.
Running has not been as good. I’ve been doing it. But begrudgingly. I think that’s what happens when you sign up for too many races.
Happy Friday everyone. We made it.