Beat the Blerch: Most exciting race EVER!

It’s time to move on from the negativity. My day yesterday left me feeling a little yucky. There’s been too much conversation about me and my heart and frankly, I’m sick of it. I’m absolutely sick of talking about it. And if I don’t want people to treat me differently, then I better just shut up about it and move on. There are too many wonderful things happening to get sucked into something beastly, like chaining myself to a running store. No, those days are over. Yesterday, the great internet opened up a beacon of light and provided me with the most exciting thing this girl could ever ask for: A Beat the Blerch Half Marathon!!!! WHATTTTTT????? If you have never heard of the blerch and you are indeed a runner, you better get your butt over to this comic. It will change your life, I can guarantee that much. You will find yourself snickering, just amazed at how much this resonates within your own life. I know that some runners are really disciplined about what they eat and live super healthy, wholesome lives but for me, it’s mostly a battle to not shove massive amounts of pizza and gelato into my face. Like, I have secretly prayed in my spare time, to the eating Gods, that someday I turn into one of those people who can not exercise, consume massive amounts of carbohydrates (the good, processed ones) and still be a size 2. My prayers have not been answered yet, but, I’m still holding on to hope. Don’t get me wrong, I love healthy living, I love the way I feel when I eat well but the fat kid inside me just won’t die. She keeps coming to the surface with her little red flag screaming: “EAT EVERYTHING” The blerch is literally every conversation I have with myself that goes something like this: “It’s just the Boston Marathon, right???? What are you gonna do with that medal anyways???? You can’t eat it. You should just go home and sit on the couch, maybe fry up some bacon.” The remainder of the conversation is me silencing my inner blerch, trying desperately to hold on to the part of myself that would shank a bitch for that medal. I mean, literally. This winter has made it especially hard to keep moving forward but so far, so good.

This race, I have no doubt, will be absolutely amazing. How could it not be??? Cake at water stops? People in blerch suits???? Grape drinks just ready for the taking. A MEDAL that says “I beat the blerch!” I just can’t contain myself. I’m about the freak out in sheer delight all over my desk. The race is in Washington, like on the other side of the country. But I don’t care, this girl isn’t phased. Not one bit. I’m taking my fat ass over to that part of the country (with my soon to be had Boston Marathon medal, as I have decided it will accompany me everywhere–including weddings, pimp accessory right?!?) and I am going to run the funnest (yes I just used that word) race ever! It’s been a long time since I just wanted to run something for the sheer joy of running it and this is it. I love destination races.

Any reader of mine (or running companion) should consider doing this with me. I’m an awesome travel companion. I don’t snore. And I don’t walk around naked in hotel rooms. (Although, I’m not throwing shade on anyone who does, I am choosing not to for your own protection, I mean, I want you to keep your eyeballs) I also like to crush margaritas in airports after having near death experiences and showing up for the 2nd leg of the trip drunk soooooo, no big deal.

Registration opens March 24th! Sign up!

Have a great day everyone! Spring might actually be showing up in this state. Get excited.

10 thoughts on “Beat the Blerch: Most exciting race EVER!

  1. I can’t lie… when I saw this on oatmeal.com, I immediately started crunching #s to see if I could afford it. If it was possible to get a refund/deferral, I would sign up in a heart beat…because it’s quite expensive if my schedule ends up being against me. But I WANT THE BLERCH MEDAL! You just know it’s going to be epic.

    1. Ha ha ha my husband was like: you’re going to fly across the country (I live in Maine) for a damn medal??? I was like: yo, not just any medal, a best the blerch metal! It’s amazing what our outrageous running asses will do! 🙂 I just read your blog, I love it by the way. 🙂

      1. Thanks! Trying to get back into the blogging world after a 6 month absence. When you blog about running & you’re not actually running, turns out there’s not a lot to talk about. 😉 But my husband, who doesn’t want to race at all (he has to run for Army PT), said he’d do it for the Blerch. And we’d fly in from Florida, so I’m just as insane for the flight. 🙂

      2. Well if we both make it out there, we are high fiving each other! While shoving cake in our faces at mile whatever. 😉

      3. Wanted to ask: did you get into Beat the Blerch? I didn’t try aggressively, but was still “wowed” by a 29 minute close-out. Guess it’s really small?

      4. I did get in!!!! I set my alarm and kept trying over and over and over again until I got in at 12:25, 4 minutes before it sold out!!!! Crazy! I have no idea how large it is but I know it was crazy advertised. I guess they are going to do a virtual option which would be cool. We have a race up here, the Beach to Beacon that sells out in 4 minutes! Can you imagine????

      5. I’ve got the Disney Wine & Dine in November, then the marathon week in January (I’ve got a friend registering for the Dopey Challenge), then the Princess again in February…& also a possible Coast-to-Coast option. Decided not to aggressively pursue for financial reasons; Disney races are expensive! I did, however, put us on the waiting list…not that I expect that to open up at all! But couldn’t justify the expense, sadly. 😦 Of course, if I get in via the waiting list, then I take that as a sign from the universe that I MUST participate. 😉

      6. Oh my goodness you have a packed race schedule! 🙂 the Disney races look like so much fun! I’m trying to convince my husband to go down to Disney with the kids some time in November. It is so expensive though, I was looking at the prices for hotels: phew! That’s just the price we pay for being amazing runners though!!! 🙂

    1. You bet!!! I would love to have someone to meet up with at the race! I saw that you have a goal to run it in under 3? I’m trying to get under 2 but would be happy to help with your training in any way I can! 🙂 Mainers rule!!!

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