The past two weeks have been hard. Really hard. I had no idea a broken toe could also mentally break that warrior deep inside. The one that tells me not to quit, to push harder, stronger. Coming back, after a seemingly tiny break has not been quite as easy as I thought it would be. And I will completely admit, there are days when I think: “I can’t do this anymore” or “I can’t remember why I love running.” The pain and frustration has been more prevalent than the great moments. I am trying as hard as I can to hold on. Look at my fridge, look at that “Acceptance Confirmation” Hell, look at that fancy new Boston Marathon treadmill I invested in, But it turns out, that card and that piece of machinery can’t and won’t do it for me. I have to dig deep and get back that voice inside.
Lucky for me, I have people who inspire me, every single day. Lucky for me, I have Allison, who will run 8 miles (even with my gimpy handicap) and laugh about the terrible snowy conditions or that big hill we are running up because she forgot a turn somewhere. She’ll join me on the treadmill on a Saturday at 7 AM when its -17 outdoors. Lucky for me, I have Alan, who will make me run outdoors, even when his breathing is difficult due to being sick and encourage ME when I’m sure he feels like crap. And make me run 6 when I want to quit at 5.3. Lucky for me, his wife Jan is the best cheerleader in the whole wide world and always says the sweetest things. Lucky for me, I know Betsy, who posted this beautiful photo (above) that out of no where, made me smile so deep, it’s almost not tangible. Such a little thing, she may not even realize it, just enriches my soul, to the core. It’s the little things: the Kate’s. The Kristin’s (Who is also running Boston). The Susan’s (Also running Boston). The Roasters, all of them.
I could feel sorry for myself. But I ain’t got time for that. I have so many wonderful “little things” that will help me make it to this “big thing.” Like it or not, it’s going to be painful. Yes, it’s going to hurt at times. I’m going to want to say: no thanks. But is leaving this behind worth sacrificing the moment? No. It’s not. The fridge confirmation is great. The treadmill looks nice. The thing that will get me moving though, is the image of hugging my husband and kids at that finish line and then immediately finding Allison so that I may cry on her shoulder. 🙂 And then hopefully the dozens of other people who are there to support me.
So thank you Betsy, for being thoughtful. It’s so nice to be in the thoughts of truly great people.
*Photo courtesy of Betsy Tomlinson