As we get older in this crazy dialogue we call life, friendships are most certainly one the items that change the most. Some friendships simply ebb and flow, others become a burden, really special ones blossom into a beautiful and exquisite flower, and with rare occasion, some rot into spoils until you finally have to say: it’s time to throw you away. Sometimes we wait too long. Sometimes we ignore all the signs. Sometimes we just yearn for it to work out. But then it doesn’t. And that’s just the harsh reality of it all. There is no such thing as “a life long friendship.” Let’s saddle up and be real here. We have 15 year friendships, I’ve seen a handful of thirty year friendships, lots of fives, tens and twos but no life long friendships. The people you meet at varying degrees in your life change, no matter how hard the effort, we grow as people and we take some with us, while leaving most behind. But don’t get all bitter, this isn’t about the negativity of it all, because the few that we lift and move with, those are the friendships that last the longest.
I’m a lucky girl. When I left high school and moved onto higher education, I made the conscious choice to leave them all behind, with the exception of one very special boy who has always stayed in my heart. Everyone else, I just had to realize wasn’t really going to amount to a tangible friendship, so I just cut my losses and moved on. In the prongs of higher education, I met a bunch of nerds, drug users and party pushers. Sure, I’m friends with a variety of people on Facebook but no one that I would ever like, viably hangout with. From my time in the working field, I made my best friends and we have made it many years together. One friendship in particular, continues to surprise and delight me, even with distance, marriage and children, I know, she’s the one. We’ve had almost ten years together and it’s always been good. In Maine, I have met, well, an interesting group to say the least. Out of four dozen jokes, has come some really sweet treasures. My amazing running group and my stellar training partner as well as some select people who truly warm my heart. But when they say you have to kiss a few frogs to nail the prince, they’re not joking. Finding new friendships in your late 20’s is as difficult as finding your mate. So much red tape and casualties. It’s horrible.
However, Maine has taught me a lot about what to expect from people. It’s taught me that you can’t hang on when the universe is telling you to let go. You can’t keep beating a dead horse because it truly makes you miserable. I’ve been holding onto this resentment for so long that after Sunday, it just hit me, it’s time to say something nice and then just let it go. Place it in the ocean and push it far far away, so it never comes back. Don’t talk about it anymore. Don’t Facebook stalk. Don’t be brazen, don’t be broken, don’t be bitter. Just calmly, let it go. No more invites for the sake of being nice. No more torturing myself about what I might have done wrong. It’s time to let others reap the rewards of what they did and accept responsibility for it.
My point is: when your life is full. Let it be full. People are always going to disappoint you and they are always going to make mistakes. But a special few, that tiny handful, will make up for it, will say their sorry, will be there for you, accept and grow with you, no matter what. Concentrate on them. Give them your energy. Weed your garden. Get rid of the shit. It’s just eating up time and energy that could be better spent somewhere else. We all need to clean house from time to time. Don’t be afraid. Embrace the new. Let it shine.
Don’t be afraid to just be: happy.
Today’s mission: Tell someone you are grateful for having them. It will make their day and yours, I promise.
P.S. There are lots of fantastic fall races coming up, I hope all the roads and training find you well. Remember, running is where we turn on the most light bulbs and land our very best ideas.