So yesterday began with me having a “Gwenyth Paltrow” panick attack moments after looking at my calender for the months of May and June. If you are wondering what a “Gwenyth Paltrow” panic attack looks like, just envision the dumbest, most trivial problem you can conjure in your brain, roll around on the floor a little bit, kick your feet, and then proceed to whine loudly with no one around. That would be the jist of it. I purchased Gwennie’s new cookbook as soon as I started reading the reviews about it, because almost like a car crash, I just had to take a look. The introduction was as ridiculous as I had imagined. It was Gwennie describing what led her to this elimination diet as well as detailing some of her rich girl problems. Her theories are interesting for sure and they absolutely gave me a deep chuckle. However, once you peel back some of the layers of stupid, there do lye some decent recipes. And she does have some unique ways of slapping ingredients together. After having my absolutely dumb mini panic attack yesterday I decided I couldn’t quite give up: shellfish, tomatoes, red peppers, gluten, diary and the whole world basically, which Gwenyth swears will solve all your life problems but I thought, hey, maybe I’ll whip up some of these muffins. From there, I will encompass a little bit of Gwennie and the world will return to normalcy. So, I went to the market that sells everything she swears by, dropped a boat load of money, including a $14.95 bag of spelt flour, realized I was now poor and headed home to give these boys a go. They are extremely easy to whip up for sure and I was stunned by how normal they baked up, considering how much the batter freaked me out: olive oil in a muffin????? I was highly skeptical. But all was well in the world and out popped 12 muffins that not only looked like muffins but tasted pretty delicious. (for a healthy muffin)
I’ve decided not to think about my calender again, as it may prompt me to do something completely retarded, like use Gwennie’s elimination diet to calm my nerves down. I’m just going to embrace where my life is right now and move on. I have always had a tendancy to overbook, double book and then completely fuck things up when I lose track of all my balls. At this point, I should have invested in a day planner or at least attempted to use the calender on my iphone but honestly, I kind of like that I’m a little sketchy with the schedule. Keeps me on my toes. Once I get through June, it’s smooth sailing for awhile. Until, of course, I dive into the million weddings I will be attending in the next year. God, I miss my single friends.
Anyways, if you are currently rolling around on the floor like a dog, panting wildly and feeling flustered, go make these muffins. Gwenyth says so.
BANANA DATE MUFFINS
2 1/2 cups + 1 tablespoon of spelt flour (her recipe calls for this if you can tolerate gluten but gluten free flour if you can’t)
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
Pinch of salt
2 very ripe bananas, mashed up
1/2 cup olive oil
2/3 cups maple syrup (use the good stuff people)
8-10 dates, pitted and cut into small pieces
1/4 cup pecans, toasted and chopped
1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and then mix together the spelt flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
2. In a separate bowl, whisk your mashed bananas, olive oil and maple syrup.
3. Toss your dates and pecans in the 1 tablespoon of spelt flour, so they don’t all sink to the bottom and ruin your day.
4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix until well combined.
5. Fold in the floured dates and pecans.
6. Place batter into a muffin tin with liners in each, fill to the top of each liner.
7. Cook for 25-27 minutes, watching closely towards the end, using a toothpick to ensure the muffins are done in the middle.