The Grateful Bread: I am NOT grateful.

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In my afternoon adventures today, I stumbled into The Grateful Bread, a cafe and bakery right in the heart of Windham. This establishment has been here for about a year, however, I never go. I was burnt the first few weeks of opening and vowed never to return. I gave them a really decent shot at first out of sheer desperation. I mean there literally is nothing else around here. We have a Dunkin’ Donuts but the intelligence of the staff is equivalent to a piece of poop. I mean some mornings I feel as though I should drive up and say: “just give me whatever you feel like today”, because that’s what I end up with. Anyways, in my first few visits at The Grateful Bread I purchased: stale muffins on numerous occasions, iced coffee with literally no ice, iced coffee that was just hot coffee poured over ice, the wrong breakfast, almost an hour at the door on Sunday waiting to be acknowledged with not so much as even a smile and half hour waits for something like a latte. It got to be too much. I felt like I was dating a boy who was just not that into me, so I had to make the choice to walk away. And I did. And I haven’t looked back. Until today. I really wanted a latte and so I decided just to give it one last try. Perhaps things have changed. Maybe the growing pains have been worked out. Or maybe, just maybe they fired their entire staff.

Nope, when I walked in I was greeted by the same gentleman that always greeted me. And he greets me in a way that makes me feel like I should be so lucky as to get to dine at such a fair establishment. He’s too casual, too cool, too much of “I don’t actually give a shit.” He’s always knee-deep in conversation with some hapless young lady and every time I try to correct him about the way he is making my beverage, he stares at me like: “Really lady?” But here is the thing, guy whose name I don’t know, you don’t make my shit right: EVER. And if I wanted to take four dollars and throw it into thin air, I would just go and throw it into thin air. I’m not asking for the world here people. This is a tale of a very simple lady asking for a very simple thing: Large iced non-fat latte. They have all the tools to do it right. Why can’t they just do it right? Today I received a whole milk, virtually no coffee,  literally two melted ice cubes latte. I basically paid four bucks for a cup of milk. Isn’t there someone who owns this place that can teach these overpaid teenagers how to make a coffee right??? Let me get back there, I’ll do it. And for free.

Let’s move on to the cupcakes, which I bought three of, actually I wouldn’t even refer to them as cupcakes. I purchased three hockey pucks that were doused in sugar and some color. Hard to the touch. Crunchy to the taste. Stale. Gross. $2.50 a piece and just entirely a waste of money. I actually didn’t buy the cupcakes to eat. After spotting the condition of my iced latte (I should just call it iced milk, that’s not actually iced), curiosity got the best of me and I decided I had to know: do they taste as yucky as they look? Verdicts in folks, they do. To boot, I found the place to be dirty, not well-kept, the pastry cases were empty and everything that was in them looked lost. I have noticed the decline of cars in the parking lot over the past few months so I have to wonder, has everyone else in Windham finally caught on? It was a nice pipe dream, but this place is just a total disappointment.

I just want to know, does anyone who works there have the qualifications to be running a bakery? And if they do, did their life instructor leave out the always taste your food rule?

Now many people may be reading this and thinking, what a complete douche. If you feel that way, fine. Doesn’t bother me one bit. This is my first time writing anything negative about a food establishment and it won’t be the norm on this blog but today I just reached my sick and tired point. I work too damn hard to waste my money on a place that claims to be good and just does not care. It’s absolutely ridiculous. If you are going to invest your money in opening a bakery, do it right, please, or leave it to people who know what they are doing. If I was ever-blessed with the opportunity of having my own bakery, people would swoon at the pastry cases. They would drool over the cake stands filled to the brim. They would lavish in the organic, locally sourced ingredients that were put together to create beautiful music. Everything would look pretty, clean and neat all the time. And I would treat every customer like they were my first. It would feel like Paris with thoughtful luxuries throughout the store: fresh flowers, gorgeous napkins and intricate teacups. People would feel like they were treating themselves beyond their means even though the prices would be completely reasonable. Baking is love. Coffee is lust. And if you are going to make bold promises, you better deliver.

Also, I hate their logo. So much.

If someone would just give me a good cup of coffee, I would not be so angry. Promise.

Hugs and kisses people. Sleep tight.

 

3 thoughts on “The Grateful Bread: I am NOT grateful.

  1. hey, if it needs to be said, someone’s gotta say it! i read this in eater maine’s restaurant break-ups: Alex Steed, Bourbon. Beer. Portland. Politics: I’m sick of showing up to the Grateful Bread and there almost never being donuts, not because they’ve sold out, but because they have not yet made them. I’ve pretty much stopped going out of my way to go out there.
    so you’re not alone.

    1. Ha ha ha, I feel so much better now! I’m usually not one to go all out with that kind of opinion, but I really feel like it was warranted. So bummed I missed your blogger bash by the way! I wasn’t feeling well. Hopefully they’ll be a next time!

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