As I was cleaning house this morning, like actually cleaning my house, throwing things away furiously, I started thinking about the purging of my own life. Changes that need to be made. People I absolutely need to throw in the trash. And decisions I can make to move my life forward, rather than the occasional backwards. I have some soul searching to do. I think. I’ve always battled whether or not my “a little over the top” personality needs a make over but I think I have come to the conclusion that you either like it or you don’t, perhaps some tweaking but for the most part, no major overhauls. Anyways, I feel if I document this, it’s more permanent.
1. Lose 15 lbs. Yes, 15, that will put me back to my before children, in the best shape of my life, racing weight. It may not seem like a whole lot but on my body, 15 lbs. goes a long way. One of the benefits to being a giant. I may have to endure people laughing at me when I tell them my shoe size. I may have to accept that I won’t always have the prettiest shoes because my size doesn’t come stock in that color but it’s fine. 5’9″ means I can shove a burger in my face and it disperses a lot more evenly than if I was 5’2″ Come the Nike Half, I want to be ready to crunch my time, feel amazing and finish strong. It’s obvious, more body fat is terrible for a distance runner. It holds you back.
2. Appreciate the people who have always been here. My main stay friends who have been with me years and years (you know who you are), who have never made me cry, who have never ever made me question the heart of our friendship, even through hard times, and accept me, as I am. No changes necessary. To me, loyalty is priceless. It doesn’t matter if you have been my friend for ten years or for two. If you are really in my heart, you get my loyalty. And I wouldn’t let my ten year friend disrespect my two year friend. Period. To those that have stood by me always, thank you. I choose to be better to you this year, as you are my staples.
3. Unplug. I don’t need a device to tell me I ran well. I need my heart, my body and my soul to do that. I choose to run without technology at least 60% of the time.
4. Stand up to my mortality. Living with a heart condition can be crippling, there are a lot of what if’s. I’m telling myself, from this moment on, to not be so afraid, to stand up to my fears when I have them and to enjoy life as it comes to me a little bit more.
5. Be more selfish. That’s right people. I give way to much away. That comes in physical form and in emotional form. No more buying things, cooking things, doing things, for people who won’t do the same for me. No more trying to inspire, no more going out of my way, no more telling people they can do it. I’m not your cheerleader because I need to be my own cheerleader.
I hope you all revisit some of your life choices. It’s a New Year. So on top of the typical resolutions, dig deeper and find something with a little bit more substance. Reduce the things that are negative. Recycle the positive.